SHARENTING: Being more careful with posts
I would like to think I'm careful. I think it’s important that we mothers talk about this. I’ve been protecting my child since the day I found out she existed, and I will continue to do that as long as I live.I started out sharing photos and conversations for fun. It was a way of dealing with the stress of being a new mother. I’ve always thought that talking about things can be encouraging. So sharing my frustrations about the lack of sleep and just general exhaustion on parenting was my way of coping. But reading about Cebu this past Spring and watching the documentary on Madeleine McCann has forced me to be even more careful.Humans are relational beings and that's what we post about---relationships. Facebook even has a Life Events feature where you document engagements, birthdays, weddings, etc. It's only natural that we post about a new relationship that will probably be the most difficult one to navigate---the one as a parent.Our heavily tech-savvy generation loves to post about what stage in life we're in. Case in point, I saturated my feed with photos of my dog when I got him.But no one is going to steal my dog's identity or want to dognap or molest him...right?
Present Risk
Yeah, I said it. I said the M-word. We all know pedophiles exist but we don't want to think they're near us. It's unpleasant and horrible. We don't think about the risks in sharing our child's full name, birthday, or geotagging their photos. We don't want to think about it but that doesn't mean they don't exist.The Philippine Department of Justice has a report on the sexual exploitation of children. It includes findings by the University of the Philippines' Center for Integrative and Development Studies (CIDS) and UNICEF Manila, that is absolutely heartbreaking. It says that most documented cases of child pornography in the country have been initiated by foreigners with Filipino accomplices."In 2004, the largest case of organized child pornography in the Philippines involved some 70 children who had fallen victims to a suspected syndicate of pornographers. The suspected syndicate involved a Japanese national and his Filipino cohorts who served as his procurers. The children were hired to perform for pornographic videos and model for pornographic images. The suspected pornographers were successfully arrested by the NBI following an entrapment operation set up against them.Sadly, the effects of pornography on children are still not fully recognized according to the UP report. Yet the effects on the victims are 'far-reaching and may actually last a lifetime because these images are lasting testaments of a child's exploitation'."This was a December 2006 report. But just three months ago, EUROPOL's most wanted criminal was captured in Cebu for PRODUCING AND DISTRIBUTING images and videos of children being sexually abused. Authorities found Nelson Torayno's numerous fake online personas. He targeted neighbors and acquaintances, as well as children he met playing online games at internet shops.
Future Cost
Another thing to consider would be the amount of information I’ve been sharing about my daughter and how she’ll feel about it when (or IF) she starts her own social media account.Am I building an online profile without her consent? Have I been putting her future opportunities at risk by posting photos of her? Is this even ethical? Will this embarrass her in the future?
The Guardian has an excellent piece on how posting on Facebook puts our children at risk. Like I don't have enough guilt, I come across this article in Fast Company about a 13-year-old who quit social media. She realized that her family has been less than careful about their posts."I thought I was just beginning my public online life, when in fact there were hundreds of pictures and stories of me that, would live on the internet forever, whether I wanted it to be or not, and I didn’t have control over it. I was furious; I felt betrayed and lied to.There, for anyone to see on her public Facebook account, were all of the embarrassing moments from my childhood: The letter I wrote to the tooth fairy when I was five years old, pictures of me crying when I was a toddler, and even vacation pictures of me when I was 12 and 13 that I had no knowledge of. It seemed that my entire life was documented on her Facebook account, and for 13 years, I had no idea."
How I've Been More Careful
I've asked family and friends not to post photos of her face. I'm still in the process of sanitizing my social media accounts, so if you see anything that I might have missed please let me know!And if you have photos of her, please help me and remove them.I understand that sharing photos comes naturally, and there are companies that allow us to share photos of their kids safely, like Tiny Beans.I also don't want companies to make money off what my child likes to do, when she hits her developmental milestones and using that knowledge to target her or my family. But let's discuss that another time.Until then, I'll follow the minimalist theme of this blog: [Posting] Less is more.But not when it comes to being careful with my kids.
Organizations that need our support in rescuing children:
- In the Philippines: https://www.preda.org
- In the US: http://www.missingkids.com/footer/about
Photo credit:
Photos by Nicole Adams and Charlein Gracia on Unsplash