What Is Real Minimalism
Minimalism is a trendy buzzword thrown around these days. Many brands and influencers claim to adhere to the minimalist mantra, but really, what is real minimalism and why does it preach wellness and stability while doing the opposite? Trust me, I've been forced into minimalism so I know what it is. After being shlepped across continents and moving homes so many times, I'm pretty confident in my definition of paring things down. But is that what it is, just owning fewer things? Let's talk.
Mythbusting Minimalism Perceptions
Myth #1: Minimalism is owning fewer things
Well, kind of true. But let’s clarify this. As The Financial Diet says, being minimalist by not wasting money on IKEA so you can buy a $4,000 dining table is just the illusion of simplicity. Technically, you’re still living in excess. This kind of thinking makes minimalism seem like a privilege.Just like the lifestyle brands (Everlane and Harlan + Holden) promoting their “thoughtfully designed” wares that you “absolutely need right now”. They’re encouraging the illusion of minimalism, not real minimalism itself where you’re spending resources responsibly. These brands maintain that their merchandise is responsibly made, but guess what—the clothing industry is still the second largest polluter in the world, second only to oil.
BORING but IMPORTANT TIDBIT: Even though organic cotton is more sustainable, it is still expensive to grow and still needs large amounts of water. On top of that, the cotton still needs to be dyed with chemicals, and shipped globally in a container ship powered by fossil fuels. The carbon footprint is still pretty big.
I know this all seems complicated but it’s pretty simple: The very business model of a retail brand is that YOU have to keep BUYING from THEM. It’s not minimalist to encourage consumerism. It’s the same big bad wolf in organic cotton clothing.
Myth #2: Minimalism is having a closet of only black, white, and gray
I started out on my minimalism journey like this too. Later, I found out that without a proper understanding of what Fuller and Fewer meant, I just ended up buying so many black, white, and gray clothes. At one point I bought the SAME jeans a few months apart. Although having a color palette will make mixing and matching clothes easier, it doesn’t have to be constrained to these colors, especially if you’re a print and pattern lover.
Minimalism shouldn’t be boring. It doesn’t mean sticking to a color palette that others defined for you. The key is in defining your personal style with pieces that you LOVE and will wear again and again.
What Real Minimalism IS
It's hard to be a minimalist in this day in age. First of all, shopping is easier than ever. Just one click of a button and new things arrive on your doorstep. Brands let you know about their latest collection straight to your inbox.
My friends and I have a joke about buying things to "fill the void", and in a way it's true. Sometimes we buy things 'cause we're bored, not because we need them.
I have seven duvet covers. Yeah, that's right! I hear you. For SHAME, Danee. How DARE you talk to us about REAL minimalism! I’m still a work in progress. But I haven't bought any new ones in three years, so I’m kind of proud of that. If I’m being honest, I bought all those when I was single and since I liked napping more than clubbing, my socializing money went to making my bed comfortable.
Real minimalism isn’t about having fewer, more expensive things. It’s about contentment. It’s consuming only what you need, not in excess. It's being at peace with the people around you. Constantly checking if you're part of the solution instead of the problem. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
My Minimalism Journey
I REALLY should have started earlier. I’ve been schlepped around from country to country, apartment to apartment, but nobody told me minimalism would make moving and adjusting to a different place easier on my mind.
I had to endure a move with SO MANY BOXES, wrapped in masking tape and covered in blue string.Until today, that image gives me anxiety. I’m feeling better now that after paring down our possessions, we’re only bringing four suitcases (three mid-sized ones, and a smaller one) to Turkey.
Minimalism has been calling out to me my entire life. But I was in a bad place.
That bad place was the retail industry. It was that odd-job phase where I wanted to pursue my love for communication and design but I didn’t know where to start. So I worked at this really great, under-the-radar Filipino brand that made amazing clothes. They gave me a clothing allowance and an employee discount, and I. USED. IT. I accumulated so many clothes sometimes I copped some for the sake of using my discount. It was obscene.
And then Typhoon Ketsana happened. I lived in my family’s home then, and one Saturday morning I woke up to the sound of my brother banging on my bedroom door, yelling that the house was flooding. Our home was in Marikina. I looked out the window and there is a RIVER of floodwater gushing through our street. My mom is crying in the kitchen while making a batch of sinigang. I asked her why she’s still cooking and she said, “Wala tayong kakainin!” (We won’t have anything to eat!) I go on survival mode and put together two duffel bags, start packing and call out to my family to put their valuables in it. That means electronics for my brother and water and medicine for my mom (she’s a kidney transplant patient). I bring the duffel bags to the roof, and that’s where we stayed for FOURTEEN HOURS. Just us three, some sinigang, and distilled water.We go back down after the water subsided, and most of our possessions were destroyed. Even our passports. We just took comfort in the fact that we were safe.
Soon after, I decided to move out and brought the surviving handful of clothes with me. I was fine with not having a lot of things. It let me be more mobile. But there’s another part of real minimalism.
I decided to move out because the stress of cleaning out that home was too much. My mom is super sentimental and has a hard time throwing things out. She and I fought, we said hurtful things, and I bounced. In a way, there were less things to think about because I had less things. But our broken relationship weighed heavily on my peace of mind.
We only began to rebuild our relationship after I got into a car accident because my cabbie fell asleep. She rushed to my apartment and I had to endure her heartbroken face looking at my bloodied eye and swollen face. She also told me she was going through some kind of relational healing seminar in church called Living Waters. To this day I don’t know what happened, but she became different with me. She was kinder, and more patient. She had more joy in her life too.
I had to go through my own healing, too. There was a lot of pride and fear that I had to let go of. It took about twelve months, and it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Traveling helped, too. Ten years later, it’s still a conscious effort to maintain good relationships and pare down possessions. Especially with being a first time mom, it’s easy to be tempted into buying things because you think you need them. When Paolo and I had our baby two years ago, we talked about what was necessary and what wasn’t, since we were moving to China soon.
How To Start Your Real Minimalism Journey
It's important to note that real minimalism shouldn't just be about purging possessions. It should also be about purging things that plague your mind and heart.
We all have to start somewhere. I began with paring down my possessions, but without fixing my heart issue, living in excess would start up again. Oftentimes, I'd notice something was wrong only when things got bad.
So here are a few statements to help you get started:
I feel guilt or anger towards someone.
I think about what others think of me.
I feel like I don't have time for myself.
I often feel tired and irritable when I look at my home.
Social media annoys me but I can't let it go because I don't like missing out.
If you feel like this is you, don't worry. I've been there and have come out the other side. The good news is that all it takes is discipline and proper reminding of who you are and why you matter.
Next up, we'll talk about having a fuller life with fewer things. But before that, I'm giving away a free guide to jumpstart your Real Minimalism journey. It's seven days of simple, little tweaks that'll leave you feeling better with having fewer. Just click the button below to get the guide!
