Long read: Travelling as healing for me

We all need some kind of healing in our lives. I needed a lot in 2014. I had just gotten out of a long relationship and to be honest, I didn't handle it well. My quiet time was pointing toward stepping out in faith, but with all things uncertain, there was fear.So my ex-boyfriend and I were still in touch, even though I know I should've just been upfront with him. Should have just made a clean break. I was feeling overwhelmed, and I needed to get away, and somewhere far, where I could find some peace.

Preface

In late 2013, I got a call from a job I had prayed a long time for. It allowed me to move into a bigger apartment, and more importantly it gave me so much fulfillment. On top of that, I was working for a foundation helping survivors of Typhoon Haiyan. I flew to Tacloban a month later and got to work building a map so help could get to the people who needed it.I was doing a lot of quiet time, not because I wanted to earn some favor. It felt like God was telling me to trust Him with all aspects of my life, not just my career. And He was speaking to my heart that I should also surrender my personal life to Him. I first felt this back in March, but I kept asking Him for more time. My ex was good to me, and I didn't want to hurt him.The problem with my bargaining with God is really my heart saying that I don't trust Him. I didn't trust His love for my then-boyfriend and by bargaining I felt like I was protecting him. I thought my plan for his life was better than God's plan. How wrong was I. God loves every one of us, and He only wants the best for us. I didn't see that, and I was stubborn. So I dragged it out.But by June, it was really enough. Thank God He was patient with me. The church I attended was studying the book of Genesis, and the sermon was about being blessed so you can bless others, and about Abraham surrendering that which was most important to him. A few days later, still with so much resistance and crying, I told my then-boyfriend that we had to break up.

Recovery and How Healing Began

It was horrible, of course. Everyone told me not to go through with it, even my family. But it had to be done. Later on I would realize it hurt more people because I dragged it out, and that's the consequences of my stubbornness. It was difficult, but I felt at peace with my decision. I took a leap of faith, and looking back, I am happy I did.But healing doesn't come quickly. It takes time, and for an introvert like me, a lot of alone time. Most secular advice says "refocus your energy", and yeah that's true, but it's what you refocus on that's important. I decided to try to know God more. He's led me here and steered my life in a good direction. So yeah, let me see what happens when I follow an omniscient God who knows me, loves me, and has promised to give me an abundant life. I started by doing regular quiet time and then joining the church's mid-year prayer and fasting week, whose theme, funnily enough, was More of Him, More Like Him.Here's the guide if you want to see what we prayed for that week.Later, they announced that they were accepting signups to go on a Steps of Paul trip for people who were interested in seeing the cities that the apostle Paul visited to share the Gospel and mentor Christians in.I had time to plan, so with my family's support (and my boss's approval) I decided to go.

The Trip

It was a ten-day trip through Greece, Turkey, and finally Rome. Most of the people went with their families, but not me. I just felt like being alone was a good idea.We took an eight or nine-hour flight from Manila to Dubai aboard Emirates Airlines, a layover for five hours, and then another flight from Dubai to Athens. What I didn't know was that on this trip I'd meet some of the most loving people ever.Pastor JP Masakayan, who was there with his wife (Tita) Roochie, asked me if I was with my family. I said, no. So he said, "This is your family for now," while pointing to them and the Rodriguezes, a family of six who was leading the activities in CCF Makati.For the next two weeks, they'd save me a seat at the dinner table, walk with me through ancient ruins, and take pictures for me. I really appreciated that. It was comforting to be around people who cared about you but still gave you space to enjoy things alone.

Greece

We arrived in Athens first, and went straight to the acropolis and the Areopagus (also known as Mars Hill), where Paul is said to have preached in Acts 17:22-31. I started taking notes and writing meticulously in my journal. My roommate Angel would later tease me that everyone was busy looking around while I had my nose buried in my notebook. But I loved it. I feel like it helped a lot in my healing. From Athens we went to Corinth, Thessaloniki, Veria, Kavala, and Philippi. I had a blast learning about the ancient people in historic places that were responsible for my faith today. Throughout our time in Greece I remember thinking, so Paul wasn't publicly welcome in any of these places. But he went anyway and talked about the Truth. The Corinthians dragged Paul into the courtyard in front of Gallio, the Roman governor. I imagine he was humiliated and beaten as well, but he did it anyway.I remember one day we were in Philippi, and we were discussing Acts 16  where Paul preaches in the agora (marketplace), and he and Silas are beaten and thrown in jail. It seems bleak and brutal but this gave them the opportunity to meet the jailer. It made me think, that we aren't exempted from hardships just because we believe in God, but our faith in Jesus gives us a better perspective of our situation. Acts 16 says the jailer "rejoiced greatly, having believed in God".

Turkey

Out of all the cities we visited, I loved the ones in Turkey the most. And I fell in love with Istanbul. I mean the city has had three names--Byzantium, Constantinople, and now Istanbul. Believe me, it blows my mind that we live here now.

Every ancient city that we visited in Turkey was majestic. We went to Bergama, (ancient name Pergamum) and while it's a little-known ancient city compared to Athens or Rome, it was described by Pliny the Elder as "the most magnificent city of Asia Minor." It was a center of health, culture, and the arts. Its library rivaled the one in Alexandria, and threatened the Egyptians so much that they stopped exporting papyrus for scrolls. As a result, the Pergamenes developed writing in parchment. When Mark Anthony came to power, he gave all 200,000 volumes of the Pergamene library to Cleopatra.

Don't get me started on the ancient ruins of Ephesus, a city entirely made out of marble that it glitters in the sun. Paul spent three years in the city, and wrote 1 Corinthians toward the end of his stay. Ephesus was only the third biggest city but had the largest port of the ancient world. I feel like Paul chose these big cities to go to for important reasons. First, there are a lot of people. Second, port cities have traders, and along with the exchange of goods come an exchange of ideas. Hey guys, you know how you've been sacrificing to gods so you can be right with them? Well what do you think about a God who loved you so much He sacrificed HIMSELF so you can be right with Him forever? By the way, He rose again. He's alive. Let's sit and talk about it on this here marble stump.

Paul's message was radical, it was outrageous. And it still is. You can read the heart of Paul in Acts 20:17-38, when he says farewell to the Ephesians and they send him off with tears and prayers. There's a part there when he says, "I know all of you...will not see my face again," because he's heading to Jerusalem and he doesn't know what's going to happen to him there. It's sad, real, and to be honest, heartbreaking.

Italy: Rome

If I'm being honest, I was sick of sleeping in buses and ships and planes by the time we got to Rome. I just wanted to be in my own bed, so I'm a little relieved we were at the end of our journey. Don't get me wrong, the city is amazingly beautiful, and the people are lovely. Even though my roommate Chrissie and I had to make a mad dash away from pickpockets by the Spanish Steps, we enjoyed the city, the food of course, and the history. Also, people there called me DANIELLA. 

Rome is important in this journey because it was the seat of power of the Empire that ruled a big part of the ancient world. The Romans build more than 55,000 miles of paved highways throughout Europe, which made trade easier. (Also made it quicker for the plague to travel through the empire ?)

Paul was in Rome because he had appealed to Caesar during his imprisonment in Jerusalem. He pulled his "I'm a Roman Citizen" card to keep from being killed, as Roman citizens had their perks. Roman citizens had the right to vote, the right to a trial and to defend themselves, and the right to appeal to senior officials. Paul explains in his letter to the Romans how humans choose to live selfish lives, and that people can try their best to follow God's law, but cannot succeed. The only way to be justified (declared "good") is through faith in Jesus' death and resurrection.

Paul was later executed in Rome, and while it wasn't mentioned in the Bible, what is thoroughly fleshed out is how he gave his life to spread the Truth about Jesus. He started out as a legalistic Pharisee, and ended up as a self-proclaimed "bond-servant of Christ", loving people as God loved them.

The Aftermath

I feel like I had more peace, hope and joy at the end of the trip. Sure, full healing was a long ways away, but what's important is starting the process.

Introverts love being productive, and my accomplishment was the 60-page document from my notes. I filled my mornings with quiet time, yoga (headstands that freaked out my roommate), and then breakfast. This allowed me to prepare for the busy day. Afternoon naps, journaling, and more sightseeing followed lunch. Evenings were nice and quiet.

It's nice to be able to hear yourself think, I felt like I was navigating everyday with better awareness. The time away let me slowly take in everything I was seeing, hearing, and reading and really absorb it.

And about the friends I met on this trip, we're all still in touch. Pastor Albit Rodriguez officiated our wedding. His daughter is my mentor, and his son is my husband's. We miss their guidance now that we're away, but we know God has sent us here for a reason. My husband and I bonded over shared values, like sharing the Truth and actively growing in faith. We are blessed with the opportunity to support the Bible Project financially and have contributed our time to helping with Read Scripture, a Bible app. We are content albeit ambitious, and more importantly, prayerful. It's a wonderful gift from the LORD. What about you, have you ever been on a trip that helped you refocus your life?